Motherly Advice

I have never been a person to give motherly advice, well unless you count my zombie potty training technique (I’m pretty proud of that one). However, with all the first time expecting mommies I know out there I feel as though I need to write this. I want to start by saying, I love my kids with every fiber of my being. I can’t imagine a day without them in it. They are my sunshine on a rainy day… except for when they are the pouring rain, the tennis ball size hail, and the F-5 tornados, those days there isn’t much sunshine. These are the days that I want to focus on in this specific blog because if we’re being honest, if every single day was a sunshine and unicorn sparkly day, everyone would have 27 kids…there’s a reason the majority stop at 2, sometimes 3.

I’ll start with that fact that nothing in this world, no matter how many degrees you hold, no matter how many nieces or nephews you have…nothing, I repeat nothing, prepares you to be a parent. There are going to be days that play out nothing like what you had imagined. There are going to be days when you are utterly exhausted from a day of work in which you wish you could just go and collapse on the couch, or have ten minutes of reading in the peace and quiet of your living room, or sit down with a cup of coffee and just enjoy, but you can’t.  There will be days that your five year old decides to get angry over the fact that there are bumps on the road and it caused him to spill his chocolate yoohoo on his shirt (that same yoohoo that you went out of your way to buy him and surprise him with just to put a smile on his face when you picked him up) …which led to a total melt down and caused you to have to discipline him as soon as you walked in the door. There will be afternoons when while your son is screaming and crying in the bedroom, and you’re trying to cut avocados up for guacamole (which in fact are entirely too hard to do anything with, but they were the only ones in town and you are determined that something is going to go your way this afternoon) that your 3 year old decides to lie at your feet and ask you to please pour her yoohoo in her snackeez cup over, and over, and over, and over, and over, and over again. There are going to be days when you say forget the flippin’ guacamole, although you’ve just spent 12 minutes trying to peel the avocados and your fingers are raw and you just throw the entire bowl away. There will be days when your five year old decides to water the cabbage plants (the ones that are still sitting on the counter where you left them a week ago with good intentions of planting them so that your children can watch something that they invest in grow) in which he doesn’t realize that there is nothing to catch the excess water and so there is now a large puddle of water on the floor. There will be moments in which your child spills all of the chips out of their snackeez cup onto the couch while they were trying to open it, so now there are two messes to clean up. Make that three because your daughter just decided she should put makeup (lipstick) all over her face. There will be moments when you hear someone hit from the bedroom, followed by a cry, followed by a harder hit, followed by a louder cry and you’re running that way to break up a fight…for the 4^th time since walking through the door. There will be days where it’s 4:45 and you’re finally getting to sit down for the first time and you’re at your absolute limit and a little voice says “Mom, I need to poop, can you wipe me?”. There will be times when you get busy again and you smell something and remember you put chicken nuggets in the oven…..crispy fried anyone?

So, I say all of this to say, being a parent is one of the hardest things I’ve ever done. I’ve taught a classroom full of second graders, I’ve taught a classroom full of fourth graders while pregnant, I’ve trained for and completed a half marathon, and I’ve earned two degrees and being a mom is still the hardest thing I’ve ever done. I’ve learned that it is a daily learning game that nothing prepares you for. I’ve learned that just because something worked perfectly yesterday doesn’t mean that it will not be an earth shattering catastrophe today. I’ve learned that you can have all the expectations in the world of how you will get your child to sleep all night, potty train, discipline and behave, but expectations are just that and they are not reality. What I’ve really learned is that it is totally okay to say that being a parent is challenging. That there are moments when all I want to do is throw my hands up in the air or lock myself in the bathroom or just go for a drive without anyone talking to me.

So for all of you first time, expecting moms, know that it’s hard. That there is a possibility that you will have an infant with colic that refuses to sleep at night, that there will be carseats that need pee cleaned out of because the diaper didn’t do its job, that no matter what discipline standards you set at some point your toddler will meltdown at the grocery store, that this adventure may not be anything like what you’re expecting…but most importantly know that there are other moms out there that have walked in those shoes and we do not judge when you say this is hard. There are moms out there that will listen to you when you need to vent, and you will need to vent. Know that you are not alone in this crazy, ever changing life with children world. I am thankful daily for other moms that I can text or share a glass of wine with after a very challenging day. My advice to you would be to find friends that will be there for you and support you, friends that will laugh with you when all you want to do is cry, and will say “it’s okay, I’ve been there and handled it the same way” because they are the ones that you will need in all of this.

That’s it. That’s all the advice I have today. The end. You’re welcome.

Oh….and never say “my child will never…..” because if you do, you have already doomed yourself!   

Pardon the language of this website, but if you ever find yourself having a really tough day, just visit this site and I promise you will be thankful for the children you have.

www.shitmykidsruined.com